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Saturday, October 17, 2015 - 9 of Swords

This is the 2nd time this week that I got this card.

Today, it means something a little different.

1] I'm not feeling very good, that cold I've been fighting seems to be winning and my throat is sore as hell. I didn't get nearly as much done as I'd planned today because I basically slept on and off all day long. Although I did manage 2 1/2 loads of laundry.

2] I was feeling regret for not getting to know Zach better before he died. I mean, my sister isn't a fool, she wouldn't have married a loser. I just allowed my prejudices to make me blindly dislike him. I promised myself in April that I'd get to know him better...so we went out on his birthday and we had fun. Cliff even had made plans to go see the new minion movie with him when it came out. But...he died. I'm sorry Zach. I wish I'd gotten to know you better, I'm sorry if you felt the family didn't like you. I should have made a greater effort to include you and I will always regret that. Heather saw something in you and I should have trusted her instincts.

3]I was contemplating skipping work Monday if I wasn't feeling much better but I couldn't do that to Marissa, she's new and doesn't know how to do much and I'd jut have to work extra hard when I got back. I'm waiting for a reply to the fax I sent out for QA about the wrong $amt on a chargeback...what a pain in the ass. but I can't just let it sit on the back burner, not for almost $2000. worry worry worry

4] I want to go home and see my husband. I haven't seen him since Wednesday. I miss you Cliff.